The path toward natural childbirth experienced as a couple

What life taught me in order to offer each of my eleven babies a respected birth

When I was expecting my first baby, I was happy to know that I would soon be a mother, because I love babies. Being in good physical condition, I didn’t worry too much about childbirth. As I was still a student at the time, my challenge was to finish writing my end of studies dissertation before the baby arrived. I would have liked a home birth, but no one in the town where I lived at the time (Montpellier) was willing to do one. So, by default, I signed up at the clinic that seemed to me to be the least medicalized in Montpellier.

However, life allowed that my first baby was born in the car. I didn’t feel any pain, I didn’t suffer, I didn’t scream, either during the “labor” phase, which we prefer to call “the opening,” nor when the child passed through. I just felt the child come out, and cried out: “Oh my baby, you’re here!” It was magical. When he arrived, the baby was asleep, as was the case for most of our children. (See the article A baby fully respected at birth arrives sleeping on this subject). Then he woke up quietly. It was nighttime, just before dawn. He opened his eyes in the semi-darkness of the car and frowned, wondering what kind of world he’d landed in.

About ten minutes after the birth, we arrived at the clinic and found ourselves thrust into a world other than that of the gentleness and magic of welcoming life. The shock was violent for us, head-on. Mother and child were separated and transported to two different rooms. Traumatized, the baby began to cry, then to scream in distress before the helpless eyes of his father, who had nothing to say for fear of being expelled.

In the days that followed, wanting to understand what had happened to us, we bought Frédérick Leboyer’s book titled: “Birth Without Violence.” It was a revelation. (See the article For a birth without violence on this subject).

We promised ourselves that, in the future, we would give all our next children a birth with all the respect and love they deserve. Never again have any of our babies cried or screamed on the day of their birth.

Having found no one to accompany us for home births, we turned to Unassisted Childbirth, which we prefer to call Autonomous Natural Childbirth. With each new birth, we took on more and more ownership of the birthing process. We’ve overcome all our fears. We built an unshakable self confidence in this area, and we always managed to achieve our goal, which was to experience childbirth at the heart of our conjugal intimacy, in an atmosphere similar to that of our baby’s conception.

Having found no one to accompany us for home births, we turned to Unassisted Childbirth, which we prefer to call Autonomous Natural Childbirth. With each new birth, we increasingly reclaimed the phenomenon of birth. We overcame all our fears. We built an unshakeable confidence in ourselves and we always achieved our goal, which was to experience childbirth at the heart of our conjugal intimacy, in an atmosphere similar to that of our baby’s conception. (See the articles entitled Taking ownership of your children’s birth and Overcoming fears of unassisted childbirth on these subjects).

It was a true adventure. Our babies were born on the four continents where we lived and in very varied circumstances: at home, in a tent, in a mobile home, in a hotel room. Aware that the richness of our experience could help other couples better experience the birth of their children, we filmed the birth of our ninth child in its entirety and produced a magnificent 85-minute DVD, complete with music. We then wrote a book to complement and explain what the DVD shows. (See the articles Experiencing birth naturally and peacefully and Autonomous Natural Childbirth experienced as a couple on this subject). We hope that these two works, which we created with much patience, perseverance and love, can help and inspire future parents, just as Frédérick Leboyer’s works helped us when we needed them.

In the video below, I explain how life allowed me to increasingly reclaim the phenomenon of childbirth when, at the beginning, when I was pregnant with my first baby, I knew absolutely nothing about it, at a time when the Internet didn’t exist yet…

This article was written by Claire Loiseleur who is mother of eleven children all born in conjugal intimacy by choosing to offer our babies a birth with all the respect and love they deserve and co-author of the book:

Tout en musique et en couleurs, avec beaucoup de légendes et d’explications en voix off, le DVD VIVRE NATURELLEMENT ET PAISIBLEMENT LA NAISSANCE complète merveilleusement bien les enseignements du livre L’ACCOUCHEMENT NATUREL AUTONOME VÉCU EN COUPLE. Il est offert sous forme d’un lien de téléchargement de la vidéo à toute personne ayant acheté le livre.

Read other articles on respected childbirth :

The book AUTONOMOUS NATURAL CHILDBIRTH AS A COUPLE is part of the Lights for a New World books presented on the Youtube channel and Facebook page entitled : Lights for a New World

The expression « Lights for a New World » is explained on the following page :