Should you let go or take charge of your birth ?

Finding the right balance between calm acceptance and active preparation for a natural and peaceful birth

When I was pregnant with my third child, I realized at the end of my pregnancy that we were going to choose once again the Autonomous Natural Birth also called Free and Autonomous Childbirth. Aware that I would only have Christophe by my side, I told him that I felt I needed to prepare well in order to “TAKE CHARGE OF MY BIRTH,” according to the expression I used. Christophe, as well as the midwife with whom I was doing birth preparation sessions, encouraged me to “LET GO”…

Today, looking back, I realize that both were right after all… and that, for a physiological birth to go as well as possible, one must find the right balance between letting go of what will happen and doing everything possible to take control of what will take place.

Long ago, Emperor Marcus Aurelius said a phrase that became famous: “God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.” This quote is extremely relevant. In the case of childbirth, it is about completely letting go of all the parameters that are not within our control, such as for example:

• the date and time of the child’s arrival. A child always arrives on time, we learned this in Africa. (See the article Physiological childbirth : a child arrives on his own hour on this subject.)
• the climate: the weather on D-day, and the possible consequences of that
• the way the child will be born and present themselves and the possible complications we will face
• many other parameters that are not within our control. In my specific case, there was the difficulty of having to move our large family a few hours before or after the birth of my seventh and ninth children. In your case, if you give birth in a hospital, it could be the staff on duty when you give birth for example…

On all these parameters, it is fundamental to let go indeed. It is useless to worry, even though it is very human and it has often happened to me… In reality, panic and anxieties lead nowhere, even though sometimes it is difficult to remain calm when external circumstances upset us or seem to get complicated. The ideal would be to welcome what is and be ready to react as best as possible in all circumstances.

On the other hand, there is also a large margin of maneuver that lies in the hands of the laboring woman. In this sense, it is relevant to consider childbirth somewhat like a sports event to complete, an exam to pass, or a concert to give. In these three cases, it is quite obvious that the better you have prepared, the more “chances” there are that it will go well. Indeed, in life, we know very well that we always reap according to what we have sown and this is also verified in the case of childbirth.

In the book AUTONOMOUS NATURAL CHILDBIRTH EXPERIENCED AS A COUPLE, we dedicated an entire section to what we called: “The seeds of an Autonomous Natural Birth experienced as a couple.” We explain in detail everything that needs to be done both physically and energetically, emotionally and even spiritually for a birth to go as well as possible…

In the documentary EXPERIENCING BIRTH NATURALLY AND PEACEFULLY, we show this in the very first part titled: “Preparing for opening.”

Thus, having experienced many births, I realized in my body that the better I prepared my birth the better it went. When I did not really take the time to prepare the birth well, it was longer and more painful. On the other hand, if I organized myself to relax well, detoxify my body and do appropriate exercises, then the birth seemed faster and easier to me…

I invite you to read the articles Does the body know how to give birth naturally? and How to limit labor pains? and watch the video on the page The path toward natural childbirth experienced as a couple on this subject.

This article was written by Claire Loiseleur who is mother of eleven children all born in conjugal intimacy by choosing to offer our babies a birth with all the respect and love they deserve and co-author of the book:

Tout en musique et en couleurs, avec beaucoup de légendes et d’explications en voix off, le DVD VIVRE NATURELLEMENT ET PAISIBLEMENT LA NAISSANCE complète merveilleusement bien les enseignements du livre L’ACCOUCHEMENT NATUREL AUTONOME VÉCU EN COUPLE. Il est offert sous forme d’un lien de téléchargement de la vidéo à toute personne ayant acheté le livre.

Read other articles on respected childbirth :

The book AUTONOMOUS NATURAL CHILDBIRTH AS A COUPLE is part of the Lights for a New World books presented on the Youtube channel and Facebook page entitled : Lights for a New World

The expression « Lights for a New World » is explained on the following page :