Why become self-sufficient in childbirth?

In developed countries, childbirth is considered a medical act, and medical assistance during childbirth has become the norm. So, choosing to go down the path of Autonomous Natural Childbirth requires unwavering determination. Our internal motivation must seem far superior to the benefits presented by medically assisted childbirth, such as the comfort of having nothing to do, because others will take care of everything, or the ease of 100% reimbursement of costs incurred by health insurers, for example.

Here are the reasons why I chose Natural Autonomous Childbirth for the birth of my eleven children.

1 – Respect

By giving birth in the heart of our conjugal intimacy, following the rhythm of the process as it unfolded and never forcing anything, I preserved the integrity of my body and my organs. I’ve given birth to eleven children in twenty years, and I’m delighted that my body has remained intact. My belly and perineum are in perfect condition, never having been torn, cut or sewn up. I only know by name the jumble of words that send shivers down my spine : monitoring, oxytocin, episiotomy, forceps, Caesarean section, piercing the water bag, epidural, feet in stirrups, delivery table, operating theatre, labour room, trauma, vaginal touch, iatrogenic gestures, complaints…
Since my body had been fully respected, I was able to recover my energies quickly after the birth, so that I could once again be ready to take on my large family.

It was also essential for us to offer our children a birth with all the respect they deserved. The moment of birth is a time when the newborn feels extremely vulnerable and totally at the mercy of its external environment. Sensitive to life in general, and to babies in particular, we let ourselves be guided by our instinct as parents, being able to put ourselves in our baby’s shoes to feel what he was feeling and imagine what it would be like for us if we were in his place.

In this way, the baby usually arrives in his sleep (see the video of the article Baby fully respected at birth arrives asleep on the subject). If we really respect him, he continues to sleep and wakes up quietly a few minutes or tens of minutes after his arrival.

The proof that the baby is truly respected is that he remains calm and quiet. It’s important to understand that if he cries, there’s something wrong, something that hurts or frightens him. If treated with the respect he deserves, a newborn doesn’t make noise. This imprints in his subconscious the impression that our world is a welcoming and respectful place, in which he is welcome.

2 – Peace and quiet

By giving birth in the midst of conjugal intimacy, I chose to put myself in a serene and tranquil atmosphere, with no external stress. Giving birth is an intense physical effort for the body, which some compare to a marathon. By being at home, in my own privacy, I was able to conserve my energy to overcome this effort, whatever the circumstances and whatever my age. It’s a well-known fact that any form of stress, whether physical, emotional or environmental, causes a net loss of energy. Any disturbance leads to a loss of energy. On the contrary, a natural, peaceful context allows us to live fully, to push ourselves to our limits, to unleash our personal power.

What’s more, by staying at home, we had total control over the conditions of the birth. Aware that the baby about to come into this world was sensitive, fragile and vulnerable, we did everything in our power to create a peaceful, tranquil context : soft, subdued lighting, whispering parents, slow, delicate gestures towards the newborn, no noise, no screaming, no crying, no excitement, no stress, no trauma.

To avoid upsetting my babies, I never weighed or measured them on the day they were born, or even in the days or weeks that followed. What’s the point of these numbers, which are only there to reassure the potentially anxious minds of the « grown-ups » we’ve become?

For us, the most important thing was to make sure our babies felt good in their little bodies. So, for me, it was far more important to breastfeed them, to touch them, to caress them, to carry them, to massage them, to stretch their numb limbs, to prevent them from crying at all costs, than to know how much they weighed or measured….

3 – Freedom

By giving birth in the heart of our conjugal intimacy, I found myself totally free to give birth as I wished. I felt free to move my body, free to adopt whatever position I wanted. I didn’t need to negotiate anything with anyone. The question didn’t even arise. If I wanted to lie down, I did. If the pain made me sit up, I simply moved into the position my body demanded. If I felt thirsty, I drank. If I wanted to go out, I went out. If I wanted to walk, I walked. No one was there to tell me what to do.

Christophe at my side was there and tried to respond to my requests. He was massaging my back where it hurt, breathing with me to help me relax between contractions, and bringing me a glass of water if I was thirsty.

4 – Surpassing myself

For me, every birth was a challenge, an intense effort, for which I prepared myself during the months of pregnancy, in the same way as a sportsman prepares for an upcoming event.

I knew that the course of the birth depended on me and me alone. So I did everything that seemed beneficial to me : detoxifying my body, living a healthy lifestyle and eating a balanced diet, getting plenty of rest before the big day, preparing what was needed for the other children (for example, buying ready-to-eat food so that they could eat easily on the day when I couldn’t cook as I was mobilized by the birth).

Each birth pushed me to the limits of my strength. At the end of the journey, I felt exhausted and drained, but at the same time happy to have succeeded and delighted by the sight of my newborn baby, so cute and so peaceful.

5 – Love

A child is the direct manifestation of the act of love that led its parents to unite their bodies. When birth takes place at the heart of conjugal intimacy, childbirth becomes a direct extension of the loving energy of conception. During a birth experienced as a couple, the carnal, quasi-sexual closeness allowed stimulates the production of endorphins, helping to reduce labor pains. In this way, conjugal intimacy seemed to us to be the ideal context for welcoming each of our children.

A birth experienced as a couple requires the man to assume to the end his role as lover of the woman he has chosen as mother of his children. His true place is to accompany his partner in the intense effort required of her by life to bring their common child into the world. Experiencing childbirth at the heart of conjugal intimacy strengthens the bond of love that unites the baby’s father and mother. Spouses work together to meet the challenge. Synchronized breathing and prolonged physical contact between man and woman unite the couple and bring them closer to the state experienced during sexual orgasm.

This state of deep well-being is soothing for the body, which relaxes, and the mind, which lets go of what’s happening. It is in this inner state that the couple can experience the birth process most naturally, with the woman remaining focused on mobilizing her energy for the effort ahead. In this particular context, fears and ill-considered gestures do not occur, as these are linked to the production of adrenalin, while the couple secretes endorphins. The man and woman will then be grateful to each other for having succeeded together in giving their baby a birth with all the respect and love he or she deserves.

Moreover, if we have chosen Autonomous Natural Childbirth, it is above all out of love for our baby. It was our love as parents that prompted us to provide this baby with the right, gentle, warm and welcoming conditions on the day he came out of my body.

In conclusion, choosing Autonomous Natural Childbirth means remaining free and in control of your circumstances, so that you can experience this wonderful event in your own way. It gives you the freedom to experience the birth of your child in a familiar environment, conducive to the success of your birth project. It’s a gift offered to the child, who is fully respected, and can thus begin, from the very first day of life, to build confidence in himself and in life, which will give him a solid foundation to move forward in life later on.

To experience birth in conjugal intimacy is to experience the coming into the world of a new human being in a context conducive to peace, and therefore to love.

To experience birth naturally and peacefully is, in the final analysis, to give yourself the right and the power to keep a happy memory of this unforgettable event.

This article was written by Claire Loiseleur who is mother of eleven children all born in conjugal intimacy by choosing to offer our babies a birth with all the respect and love they deserve and co-author of the book:

Read other articles on respected childbirth :

The book AUTONOMOUS NATURAL CHILDBIRTH AS A COUPLE is part of the Lights for a New World books presented on the Youtube channel and Facebook page entitled : Lights for a New World

The expression « Lights for a New World » is explained on the following page :